Little Red Riding Hood
by Yuu-Pon
Summary: D.Gray-Man parody of Little Red Riding Hood. Cast Inside, don't ask what's wrong with me. This is the creation of being bored with an overractive imagintion. Enjoy this DGM crack


**Cast:**

**Little Red Riding Hood- Allen **

**The mother- Cross**

**The wolf- Tyki Mikk**

**The grandmother- Komui **

**The hunter- Kanda **

Once upon a time there was a dear little boy who was loved by everyone who looked at him, but most of all by his foster father and there was nothing that he would not have given to the child. Once he gave him a little riding hood of red velvet, which suited him so well that he would never wear anything else; so he was always called 'Little Red Riding Hood.'

One day General Cross said to him: 'Come, Allen. Since I'm never stepping foot in the order again, take the Innocence we've collected to Komui. Set out before it gets dark, and when you are going, walk nicely and quietly and do not run off the path, or you may fall and lose the Innocence , and then the Earl will be closer to victory; and when you get to the order, don't forget to say, "I was sent by General Cross.'.'

'I will take great care,' said Little Red Riding Hood to his master, and gave his hand on it.

The Black Order was located out in the wood, half a league from the village, and just as Little Red Riding Hood entered the wood, Tyki Mikk met him. Red Riding Hood did not know what a wicked creature he was, and was not at all afraid of him.

'Good day, Little Red Riding Hood,' said he.

'Thank you kindly, Tyki.'

'Whither away so early, Allen?'

'To the Black Order.'

'What have you got in your jacket?'

'Innocence, if I don't bring it then the Earl could get a hold of it and be closer to victory.'

'Where is the Order located, Allen?'

'A good quarter of a league farther on in the wood; the order stands under the three large oak-trees, the nut-trees are just below; you surely must know it,' replied Allen.

Tyki thought to himself: 'What a great opportunity to infiltrate the Order.'

So he walked for a short time by the side of Little Red Riding Hood, and then he said: 'See, Little Red Riding Hood, how lovely those sweets smell - why do you not look around? I believe that you do not taste such delicious sweets everyday. '

Little Red Riding Hood raised his eyes, and when he saw a small sweet shop, and he thought: 'Suppose I can make a small stop. It is so early in the day that I shall still get there in good time.'

So he ran from the path into the shop to indulge in sweets. And whenever he had picked one, he fancied, he saw a still sweeter one, and ran after it..

Meanwhile Tyki ran straight to the order and knocked at the door.

'Who is there?'

'Little Red Riding Hood,' replied the Noah. 'I am bringing some Innocence; Open the door'

'Lift the latch,' called out Komui, 'I am too lazy, and don't wanna get up.'

The Noah lifted the latch, and the door sprang open, and without saying a word he went straight to Komui's office ,and had teez devoured him. Then he put on his clothes, dressed himself in Komui's ridiculous cap, sat himself at his desk and drew the curtains.

Little Red Riding Hood, however, had been running about choosing sweets, and when he had gathered so many that he could carry no more, he remembered the Innocence, and set out on his way to the order.

He was surprised to find the door standing open, and when he went into Komui's office, he had such a strange feeling that he said to himself: 'Oh dear! how uneasy I feel today, and at other times I like being here so much.'

He called out: 'Good morning,' but received no answer; so he went to the desk and drew back the curtains. There sit Komui with his cap pulled far over his face, and looking very strange.

'Oh! Komui,' he said, 'what dark skin you have!'

'Too much time at the tanning salon,' was the reply.

'But, Komui, what big eyes you have!' he said.

'I wanted to be like an anime girl, my dear.'

'But, Komui, what large hands you have!'

'I wanted to be like Lord Death.'

'Oh! but, Komui, what a large sister fetish you have!'

'I don't have a fetish!'

And scarcely had Tyki said this, than with one bound he was off the chair and had teez swallowed up Red Riding Hood. When the teez had appeased its appetite, and Tyki sat down again at the desk, fell asleep and began to snore very loud.

Kanda was just passing the office, and thought to himself: 'How Komui is snoring! I must just see if there is anyway to silence him.'

So he went into the room, and when he came to the desk, he saw that Tyki was sitting in it.

'Do I find you here, you old sinner!' he said. 'I have long sought you!'

But just as he was going to kill him, it occurred to him that Tyki's teez might have devoured Komui, and that he might still be saved, so he didn't kill him, but took Mugen, and began to cut open the Noah searching for the teez.

When he had made two slices, he saw the little red riding hood shining, and then he made more slices , and the beansprout sprang out, crying:

'Ah, how frightened I have been! How dark it was inside the teez.'

After that Komui came out alive also, but scarcely able to breathe. Red Riding Hood, however, quickly fetched great stones with which they filled the Noah's belly, and when he awoke, he wanted to run away, but the stones were so heavy that he collapsed at once, and fell dead.

Then all three were delighted. Kanda drew off the Noah's head and paraded around the order with it ; Komui gave Hevlaska the Innocence and everyone rejoiced.

But Allen thought to himself: 'As long as I live, I will never leave the path by myself to run into the wood, when my master has forbidden me to do so.'


End file.
